Aw shucks, the secret to gift receiving

Dec 26th, 2024

I’m posted up at this giant boardroom table in my best business costume, trying not to sweat through my shirt as I explain why the “compliment hot seat” isn’t just some corny summer camp gimmick.

Picture eight grizzled executives—old enough to be my dad—shooting me the “You better not waste my time, kid” look.

It’s my very first solo gig facilitating a forum, and I’m convinced any second now they’re going to see right through my stiff blazer and realize: “This guy’s just a long-haired camp counselor from 2009.”

Long-haired me in 2009I’ve been sent here by friend, business coach, and total rockstar, Sylvia van Meerten to reduce what she calls the “trust tax.” That’s code for “Get these people to actually ask for help and trust each other a bit.”

Not because it’s all warm and fuzzy but because it actually makes stuff get done.

And what gets it done is being able to receive what others say (the good and the tough to hear), both of which are gifts in their own right. These are the kinds of things you’re working on every single day of every single summer.

I’ve run these exercises a thousand times—exactly 999 times with kids or camp staff, usually knee-deep in the woods. Now with Sylvia’s agenda in hand, it’s game day in a Midwest manufacturing plant.

And we all know it’s the right plan, I’m absolutely terrified to drop the “summer camp” angle on them.

Compliment Receiving starts with Aw Shucks

The “Aw Shucks” method came about when Sylvia’s daughter, Greta (age 4) received a compliment about her drawing. Greta tried to push back against the nice word until Grandma swooped in with:

“Greta, when you get a compliment, you can say ‘Thank you’ or ‘Aw Shucks.’ Anything else drags the whole thing out.”

It’s such awesome advice, and you can use it like this:

One person takes the “compliment seat” in the middle

Everyone else takes 60 seconds to give a compliment or say what inspires them about that person.

Timer goes on, each person shares.

The person on the hot seat responds with either “Thank you” or “Aw Shucks.” (No monologues allowed!)

Rotate seats until everyone’s had a turn getting showered with compliments.

It’s a kickass framework because it takes even the most world-hardened person and turns them into a gift receiver for minutes on end.

This Midwest boardroom table is the perfect example because in the lead-up to the training, I knew that Jim (fake name, duh) was annoying everyone at the company.

He’s the 60-year-old head of maintenance, big chaw of tobacco in his cheek, notorious for not suffering fools gladly. I’m honestly wondering how this is going to go.

Jim sits down in the compliment seat, and the crew goes around saying stuff like:

“Jim, it’s inspiring to know that when I ask you to do something, you’ll actually do it.”

“Jim, you’re the kind of guy who makes things happen. Without you, we’d be in big trouble.”

Sincere compliments, but not exactly Shakespearean sonnets.

And then I look at Jim—he’s tearing up! The tough-as-nails maintenance head is getting misty-eyed from hearing his coworkers appreciate him.

Boom.

Jim had just received maybe the best gift of his life, hearing that others valued him. They “saw” him. They were able to turn that into real words, real gifts.

That’s when I realized: the world needs more of this.

Even summer camps, which are the world’s best places for encouragement, kindness, honesty, and compliment-giving, can carve out more time for spreading the love this way.

Find the time for forums

Facilitating a forum (which we will call it in the business world) or a circle at camp is about building a container for real conversation. At the end of the day, whether we’re kids or staff, we’re all just craving connection.

The Aw Schucks method works in a corporate setting because it has its roots in what makes summer camps work already.

At camps, the act of giving (compliments, praise, energy) is woven into the fabric right along with the act of receiving those gifts (compliments, praise, energy).

And if we get intentional about it on a day-to-day basis, we give kids the greatest gift of all: the ability to give and receive equally in a community created specifically around making them the best versions of themselves.

If you haven’t used a compliment circle at camp, maybe give it a whirl this summer. Carve out time to make it happen for every kid.

Three Ways to Do This At Camp

Beginning of your weekly staff meeting, have people get in groups of 3 and share real compliments about what they appreciate about the other people. Takes 6 minutes. Worth it.

With kids at the end of every day, have a different kid or two in the group be on the compliment seat. 10 kids in a group? 2 kids a day hearing nice things from their group in a 5 day week.

Make a list of your leadership team. Ask 3-5 people to write each of them a note. Hand them out at your leadership meeting and let them all read (and cry) together.

This gift giving and gift-receiving are things they can take out into the world with them in smaller doses.

And when they do, it won’t take the Jims of the world by surprise to hear nice things about themselves.

Maybe even practice a little Aw Shucks yourself this holiday season. Take the compliments as the gifts they’re meant to be.

It works at summer camp. It works in the boardroom. It works everywhere.

You got this,

Jack