Thoughts on Being Black at Camp

By Katherine “Katburn” Hepburn
Former Head Female Counselor, YMCA Camp AGQ

In 2008 my mom told me I was going to summer camp. I didn’t know anything about summer camp; I just knew she already signed me up and I was going. She wanted me to have the same experiences growing up that privileged white kids had. What started as one trial week at an overnight summer camp in Northern Michigan ended up changing my life. 

I went to Camp AGQ from 2008-2019 and I kept going back every year because I loved it. I can say that over 11 summers I have seen a lot of change when it comes to who is represented at my camp. Diversity in race, class, sexuality, gender, religion and so much more has increased since I started going to camp, but the changes have only just begun. In 2019 I held the position of Head Female, one of the two unit leaders at camp. I was ½ of the face of camp, a role model for all staff and campers, and the go-to person for any issues that arose on the Northside (aka Female Side) of Camp. 

I remember as a camper always looking up to the Head Female and Head Male as two of the coolest people on earth! I always wanted to be Head Female and I was turned down for the position in 2017. In 2018 I took the summer off from camp to finish my undergrad degree and I wasn’t planning on returning to camp the following summer. So, in 2019, when I was asked to return as Head Female it was a dream come true. My camp was under the leadership of a new director who, without ever having worked with me, knew I was the best person for the job based on the impact I had in my previous years. I knew the influence I could have in such a visible leadership position on camp as a Black woman was powerful and important. 

Even better: the Head Male that Summer was my long time camp friend who is also Black. It was something we never thought we’d see in our time at camp. Two dark-skin Black staff members, who went to camp together and understood how hard it can be to be Black at camp, leading the most diverse staff we’ve ever been on at AGQ. As Head Female, I saw first hand how today’s Black campers STILL feel micro aggressed, othered, and targeted at camp by white staff members and campers. Experiences that echoed my own and other Black staff members who went to camp. It is so important for me to share my experiences of being Black at camp, and I hope others can learn from my experiences. Camp brought me so close to nature and taught me social-emotional skills that I couldn’t have learned anywhere else. I learned how to love myself, others, and the earth at camp. Going to camp at AGQ gave me so much and I have always wanted other kids and adults who look like me to experience the MAGIC of going to summer camp. 

I remember the Head Male and I getting pulled over up north on our way to camp last summer, being terrified, and wondering am I even going to make it to camp?

I remember asking myself why the Head Male and Female were always white

I remember wishing the one Black woman I saw on staff was my counselor because she was the only staff member that looked anything like me and she was so awesome

I remember wondering if people knew I went to camp on a scholarship because I was Black

I remember as a staff member feeling lucky when I had a Black camper in my cabin

I remember as a kid being teased for putting on sunscreen because I “didn’t need it” 

I remember seeing Black staff members hired into positions below their capabilities year after year and having to fight harder to prove themselves

I remember the looks from visiting camps on sports days because we had a lot more campers of color than they did

I remember being the only kid of color in my cabins and not having many Black friends at camp

I remember a lot of unpaid emotional labor from Black women on camp as well as our efforts going unnoticed and unappreciated by leadership staff 

I remember as a kid being so happy when I met other Black campers and that they felt like family

I remember talking to a group of Black campers last year and them being so excited that there were more Black counselors, and they finally had staff members they could relate to

I remember being at leadership training week wondering “where are the people of color in leadership positions?”

I remember the look on a white parent’s face when they saw I was their child’s counselor (and being questioned about my education/what I was doing in life)

I remember campers making racist/sexist jokes and counselors not dealing with it

I remember the running joke between POC staff about having us greet parents on the first day of camp so camp looked “diverse”

I remember not wanting my skin to get darker from being in the sun all-day 

I remember being so happy to have multiple Black CITs (Counselors In Training) both years I was CIT director and hoping that they would continue to come to camp

I remember looking at my LIT (Leaders in Training) group and thinking “where are the other kids of color?”

I remember feeling left out as a camper when all the other girls were doing each other’s hair because my hair was different

I remember being FILLED with joy last summer when I saw Black girls openly doing each other’s braids at free time

I remember in 2012 being the ONLY black person at my CIT training weekend of around 30 CITs

I remember how some staff treated Black “problem campers” vs white “problem campers”

I remember culturally incompetent counselors and opening campfire skits

I remember staff week discussions about antiquated practices being shot down in the name of tradition

I remember personally running diversity & inclusion trainings that probably should have been run by a qualified individual

I remember my white co-workers not being willing to analyze their racial bias and general discomfort with talking about race

I remember stares from Northern Michigan locals when they saw me and other Black staff on time off

I remember seeing the wall-sized picture of AGQ campers and staff from the 1930s and thinking about the two Black people in the corner of the picture and what their lives were like at camp during that time

I remember leading “tribe time” (time on the first day of camp where campers are split into groups based on age and learn a song and cheer) every session so I could write the best cheer that didn’t involve using the names of Indigenous tribes in silly ways

I remember my first full summer on staff in 2014 being one of 4 Black female counselors 

I remember being afraid to wear my “Black Lives Matter” shirt around camp because “what if a camper tells their parents and I get in trouble” 

I remember being sad each summer when staff of color wouldn’t come back 

I remember being told summer camp was a “white thing”

These are just some of my experiences over the past decade! Black campers and staff deal with the impacts of racism in every part of their lives, and in order for summer camps to be a home for kids of color, ESPECIALLY Black kids, a lot of work needs to continue being done. There needs to be quality anti-racism/diversity training for camp staff. Black camp voices need to be listened to and represented in leadership positions. In order for that to happen, summer camps have to strive to be a place where Black campers and campers of color want to return to. Black leadership starts with the retention of Black Campers! I hope summer camps across the country start analyzing their programs through a social justice lens, because although summer camp feels like an escape from the “real world”, real-world problems like racism, sexism, and homophobia exist within the camps we know and love.

 
katburn+headshot.jpg

katherine “katburn” hepburn

graduate student, educator, artist

katherine.r.hepburn@gmail.com


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BLACK LIVES MATTER.

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Losing the Light When Summer's Ended